Waiting

When I pictured myself graduated, I didn't expect my life to be like this. Summer school every day at 7:30. No job. My housemate still hasn't moved out of my bedroom, and I have nowhere to put my clothes. I'm still living out of a suitcase.

In his book Flabbergasted, Ray Blackston says, "We spend vast amounts of time and energy crafting a thesis in our heads of how life should play out. Then Almighty God spends an incredibly brief amount of time blowing our thesis to bits."

How freakin true.

I don't pretend to know what God is doing right now. I do know that every time I try to make plans for this part of my life I run smack into a brick wall. So I've stopped. Kind of. Sometimes I try again. But for the most part, it's easy for me to wake up with no expectations.

But waiting? I detest waiting. I'm not a patient person. I even expect my friends to wait on me, but I hate waiting on them. I can't remember the last time I was jobless. I've been working since I was 14. And now I'm supposed to wait for a job? I'm supposed to wait for my diploma? I'm going crazy here.

Waiting is probably the hardest thing I've done.