Don't Put Me in a Box

I think it is interesting that we have one perception of a person. We see a person in one dimension and think we know that person well, when we really only know a certain person in a certain setting. In some settings I might be more outgoing than in other settings. I may be forceful and opinionated around certain people and quiet and reserved around others. I might come across as timid to some and fearless to others. I have heard all of these words used to describe me recently. I’m certainly not the same person in every setting. At work I am a workaholic, but at home I am quite lazy. Someone who sees me in one setting knows only one aspect of who I am. I get frustrated when people think they know who I am or think they know everything about me when in fact they have only seen one part of who I really am. I am not a flat character—I am round and developing. I change. I am not who I used to be, and I will not be the same person tomorrow. I make no apologies for that. If you think I’m timid, fine, but you’re wrong. On the flip-side, if you think I’m stubborn and headstrong, that’s true, but it’s also very false.

The frustration makes me wonder how many people I perceive as flat characters in my mind. I know I put people in a box. I think people are exactly who I see them as in a certain situation, then I am surprised to find that a beautiful girl is an amazing skateboarder (is that a word?), or I think someone is acting out of character when he gets angry. I am amazed when I hear a story of my parents’ past, although these are people I’ve known all my life. By putting people in a box, I also judge them without knowing their motives or thoughts or past history. Life is complex. People are even more complex. I shouldn’t pretend to understand or grasp the full meaning of any situation. It makes me realize exactly how little I really do know, exactly how finite my tiny little brain is...